The After The Kids Leave Home Newsletter
This newsletter supports parents whose kids have left home as they reset their lives and money for wealth, purpose, grace and style.
Enough is Enough
How are you handling 2024 and beyond?
Are you excited about the opportunities in the coming years?
Or are you more concerned about keeping life’s risks in check to stay comfortable and safe?
There is no correct answer. Whether you decide to be a risk taker or risk averse, your decision should be honoured by your family, friends and colleagues.
The Covid years of 2020 to 2022 were tumultuous. You may have lost loved ones to the virus. The pandemic may have forced you to redesign or close your business. After the upheaval, 2023 was a letdown for many. Fear still predominated, but fear of re-joining the world, not of the virus. And the Covid years took a lot out of us as we fought to keep our businesses afloat and our families safe.
So, it’s not surprising that 2023 was a strange year. Hence my question: how will you handle this year and beyond?
I’m here to help.
In 2015, I founded Project Sophia to provide the financial and life coaching that had become my staple service, unencumbered by the regulations around selling financial products (now increasingly done by AI). Today, I continue to work with enterprising professionals in their 60s, often from the creative and media industries, redefining their lives and re-organising their money so they can live the second half of their lives to the fullest.
Even before Covid, finding anyone for whom life was “perfect” was rare. Clients in their 60s would come to my financial life planning practice expressing concern about their pensions or investments. However, the presenting issue was rarely the actual one, and the real concerns would quickly emerge as my clients settled into the safe space I provided.
The challenges stay the same.
Although the Covid years have exacerbated some of these concerns, they remain substantially the same today and include:
- Relationships: Divorce rates amongst those in their 60s remain low. For most couples, the challenge and opportunity is to love and cherish each other “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death us do part”. And the partnership and support found in relationships are highly valued, judging by the rising number of marriages among older single people.
- Health Concerns: As you age, your health and mortality rise up the agenda. Today, more and more people are delving into their savings to pay for private treatments, leading to concerns about…
- Financial Security: In short, you want to know if your money will outlast you or run out before you do. It’s the big question.
- Social Isolation and Loneliness: What happens when the school-gate crowd melt away, work winds down, and friends die? It’s no longer four weddings and a funeral but four funerals and a wedding, and it’s a worry.
- Mobility and Independence: Baby boomers have fought for freedom throughout their lives, so losing independence through fear, health or mobility is frightening. And, of course, there are financial implications.
- Estate Planning and Legacy: There has been a shift from wanting to leave a financial legacy (often, there will not be much money left anyway) to wanting to be someone memorable. Toys and bling are out; purpose and making a difference are in.
- Changing Family Dynamics: You might have sleepless nights about your ageing parents, especially if they live some distance away. Alternatively, you might be concerned about supporting your children and grandchildren. Both have emotional, practical and financial consequences.
- Technology: Keeping up with rapid technological advancements can be challenging, and you may have concerns about being left behind in a digitally evolving world. Alexa and AI can do much for you – but technological change can be frightening.
- Lifestyle Changes: Adjusting to the changes that come with ageing, such as decreased energy levels, and finding new hobbies or interests to stay engaged and active are challenging because they are an implied admission that you are getting older. Generosity of spirit will make you feel prouder of your age, not fearful.
The opportunities change
These challenges all contain the seeds of their individual opportunities. For example, technological changes can work in your favour to make you feel less isolated and maintain your health. Financial concerns, when addressed, can leave you feeling more confident about the future and enable you to address, for instance, the challenges of changing family dynamics and close relationships.
Then again, imagine how confident and content you would feel as you calmly discuss with your partner at New Year how you each want to serve others this coming year without getting anxious or defensive about your aspirations or money.
Or imagine how, over morning coffee, you discover with delight that three more courses have sold after you turned your hobby into a profitable online business to replace the salary that supported your kids.
Enough is the key to abundance and contentment.
Many of these concerns can be offset by wanting less rather than more. This, after all, is a natural consequence of getting older. “Enough”, not “more”, is the key to abundance, contentment and even happiness in the second half of your life.
In the middle of Covid, I led a project to publish a book called “Enough: Unlock a life of abundance starting right where you are”. The book is a global collaboration of sixteen people in the second half of their lives writing about what it takes to be enough and to have enough.
One critic called the book “a wonderful and vital compendium of inspirational thoughts and ideas for living a more fulfilled life.” He wrote that the book will “help you ensure you don’t die with your music locked inside you.”
This is our legacy because we all contributed to the writing, editing, design and publication of a book addressing the most fundamental concern of readers: to live always wanting more or to be enough and have enough. It’s our book, and we are proud of it.
References and acknowledgements
Illustration by Tim Bulmer from Right Money, Right Place, Right Time
Deedes, Jeremy. Right Money, Right Place, Right Time – Personal Finances to Transform Your Life and Secure Your Future. Rethink Press Limited, 19 Jan. 2015. (See also https://wordsnotdeeds.co.uk/rmrprt/)
News from the coaching room
I am here to help.
It sounds corny, but your sixties are a time of transition. Relationships, family dynamics, work, and play are all changing. Money remains a driving force, a challenge and an opportunity. However, the main transition that comes with age is the transition from wanting more to having enough.
I am here to work with you as your impartial, skilled facilitator. In Project Sophia, I have combined financial planning and life coaching in such a unique way that couples tell me they have never had deep conversations like this in twenty years of marriage.
I am known for redefining the lives of enterprising professionals in their 60s who want to live a remarkable second half of their lives. My mission is to ensure you are enough and have enough and don’t die with your music locked inside you.
Book a free consultation call using the link below to find out how I can work with you to resolve your concerns and move from wanting more to having enough and releasing the music locked inside you.
If you want to talk more about overcoming your problems and making the most of opportunities after the kids leave home, send an email to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or book a free 20-minute consultation call.
If you’ve just subscribed…
Welcome to After the Lids Leave Home, a monthly newsletter providing support across a range of topics for parents whose kids have left home as they reorganise their lives and money to grow their wealth, find a new purpose by making a difference and live with grace and style. Find out more at jeremydeedes.com.
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What do you think?
Your views are important, and your fellow readers would love to hear your opinion, so share your thoughts in the comments box below, and thank you for your time and generosity.