Fortunately, the village market works at a gentle pace, and everyone was patient. We offered the gentleman our help, but you could see that the episode was bruising his pride and undermining his independence, and he persevered. 

Eventually, he decided to pay by cash instead of a card, and the cost was rounded down a little by the stall-keeper to avoid too much small change.

A mirror of our future selves

Nonetheless, the incident was distressing because we could see ourselves in the gentleman in a few years – probably why everyone was patient, kind and helpful.

Could things have been different? I did not know the gentleman’s story. However, it’s not my first time witnessing such a situation. I suspect we have all been there and wonder how someone could allow themselves to become so vulnerable.

It is easy to be critical, but I have often talked to clients about how to make the last years of their lives as easy and fulfilling as possible and (just as importantly) how to make life easy for those who might have to look after you in your old age and wind up your life after it’s over.

Two strategies for old age

I’ve found two things to be helpful. The first is to let go. I know it’s not easy and flies in the face of our innate survival instinct and fear of our loss of independence and death. But, if you can accept the inevitable, it is much easier to do the second thing: a plan for your old age and loss of independence.

It is not just about money, although that is important. It’s about your family and community, the people who will be there for you when you cannot do it yourself. It certainly helps to make your wishes known beforehand and get your family’s and support network’s agreement.

Old age ain’t no place for sissies, as the saying goes, and like taxes, death is inevitable, so it pays to prepare for both well before they happen.

ABOUT

I work with ambitious, family-oriented professionals transitioning to independent consultants to create a 3 to 5-year holistic plan so that they grow wealthy, make a difference and find meaning.

My clients are aged 35-50. They are in a long-term relationship with family and parents who are supportive but ageing. They wrestle with personal and financial responsibilities and dream of more control, wealth, time and purpose.

If this excites you, you are coachable, willing to change, and want to stop going around in circles, then find out more at jeremydeedes.com

Then, take your next step and explore your way forward with a Mapmaker, a one-off online coaching gig to help you decide your options, assess our compatibility, and determine whether we are the right fit. Mapmaker is excellent value, held in confidence and without further commitment.

Photo attribution

Photo by the author

Other attributions and references

Audio link: https://audio.com/jeremy_deedes/old-age/

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