How to gag stifling convictions about money in just 3 steps
Leanne, a client, admitted to being a compulsive spender and told me about how long-held convictions and beliefs drove her finances.
She liked to buy new clothes when life got her down, which was frequent. Her cupboards were full of clothes, purchased to make her feel better, though hardly worn. She believed a fashion makeover would trigger an emotional makeover, so much of her income was spent on clothes.
Her years spent in remote Canada, where snow could leave her and her family trapped for days, bred a fear of running out of food. Unfortunately, when she returned to the UK, she brought the conviction with her, and she continued to stockpile an overflowing larder, although the nearest shops were only a short walk away.
Her convictions almost led to disaster.
The financial consequences were tragic. Leanne spent much of her income unnecessarily on food and clothes, a disaster after a difficult divorce that left her to raise her two children while working in the public sector for a modest salary.
It took three steps to get her back on track.
First, she summoned her inner counsellor to talk about her spending habits. The first versions of her stories were told in a way that justified her actions and built up an armour-plated defence to protect her from the actual consequences of her actions.
Discussing her convictions with her inner counsellor
With my encouragement, she gradually retold the stories truthfully, ditching the lies she had told to protect herself. She began to see how her past influenced her present behaviour.
Second, she reflected on what really mattered to her and her children. This helped her realise what she needed to do to live a more fulfilled and meaningful life, one in which her aspirations had a chance of becoming real.
Galvanised by this, she ditched her unhelpful habits and built new habits that returned control of her life. She prepared by taking an inventory of her life and resources, which she updates frequently.
New convictions, new habits
Leanne wrote weekly meal plans and shopped only for food, clothes, and needed items. Then, she saved and set aside money for fun with her children.
The hard slog became worthwhile for Leanne when she saved enough money to take the girls to London to see their favourite group in concert. She and the children had a wonderful time and enjoyed themselves without fear or guilt.
Your beliefs and convictions about money can damage your behaviour. To deal with long-standing and damaging convictions, take three steps: tell your story truthfully, set new aspirations and goals, and restructure your habits.
ABOUT
I work with ambitious, family-oriented professionals transitioning to independent consultants to create a 3 to 5-year holistic plan so that they grow wealthy, make a difference and find meaning.
My clients are aged 35-50. They are in a long-term relationship with family and parents who are supportive but ageing. They wrestle with personal and financial responsibilities and dream of more control, wealth, time and purpose.
If this excites you, you are coachable, willing to change, and want to stop going around in circles, then find out more at jeremydeedes.com
Then, take your next step and explore your way forward with a Mapmaker, a one-off online coaching gig to help you decide your options, assess our compatibility, and determine whether we are the right fit. Mapmaker is excellent value, held in confidence and without further commitment.
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