You might be taken aback, as I was when someone complimented me over a speech I made about volunteering a few weeks ago.

And we are not used to receiving compliments, especially when they come out of the blue, so you might:

• Agree loudly and say it was brilliant. Arrogance is endemic here and will probably raise hackles.
• Look at your shoes in embarrassment and mumble something. This could cause offence and lacks any style or grace.
• Make a joke out of it, which belittles both of you.

Many parents aspire to live gracefully and with style after their kids leave home. How you respond to unexpected compliments may seem unimportant. Still, it is an essential skill that sets the tone for your way of life.

Accept the compliment with gratitude

The first thing you must do is acknowledge your fan’s commitment. Saying “thank you” never hurts anyone and will give you a few seconds to think about your next step.

Next, turn the conversation away from you and towards the other person.

You might start by asking when. When did you read the book? When did you meet the children? This is non-threatening and an easy win for both of you.

Focus on them, not you.

Now, show grace and style by asking about your impact and their aspirations.

• “What were you inspired to change when you listened to my podcast?”
• “Thank you for saying my garden is beautiful. What do you want to do in your garden?”

You only talk about your work if specifically asked for information.

Your intention is to be interested in the other person, to leave the other person feeling they have been listened to and acknowledged. You will be acting with grace and style by making them feel uplifted and respected.

For you to consider

When you receive a compliment, do you…

• Make a joke about it
• Get embarrassed
• Agree loudly
• Accept with grace and style

ABOUT

I work with ambitious, family-oriented professionals transitioning to independent consultants to create a 3 to 5-year holistic plan so that they grow wealthy, make a difference and find meaning.

My clients are aged 35-50. They are in a long-term relationship with family and parents who are supportive but ageing. They wrestle with personal and financial responsibilities and dream of more control, wealth, time and purpose.

If this excites you, you are coachable, willing to change, and want to stop going around in circles, then find out more at jeremydeedes.com

Then, take your next step and explore your way forward with a Mapmaker, a one-off online coaching gig to help you decide your options, assess our compatibility, and determine whether we are the right fit. Mapmaker is excellent value, held in confidence and without further commitment.

Photo attribution

Photo by Dylan Sauerwein on Unsplash

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Your views are important, and your fellow readers would love to hear your opinion, so share your thoughts in the comments box below, and thank you for your time and generosity.