Poor self-awareness makes good self-sabotage
Self-awareness
The ancient philosophers understood the merits of self-awareness:
- Know thyself – Socrates (c470-399 BCE)
- The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates again
- Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom – Aristotle (384-322 BCE)
Self-awareness is still seen as essential today:
- Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives – Vernon Howard (1918-1992)
- Self-awareness is the meta-skill of the twenty-first century – Tasha Eurich (Contemporary)
So it is no surprise that poor self-awareness is a significant hurdle to achieving Purposeful Prosperity.
Purposeful Prosperity
Aligning your life’s mission and financial goals creates Purposeful Prosperity, a virtuous circle of wealth, impact and meaning. Prosperity means security, comfort and peace of mind. However, Purposeful Prosperity goes further by delivering the meaning and purpose you seek, enabling you to overcome and realise your secret sorrows.
Seven common mistakes – especially around money – prevent people from achieving Purposeful Prosperity. I know because I have made them. In this and subsequent posts, I’ll describe each and explain how to overcome it.
Poor self-awareness.
A lack of self-awareness is the primary source of self-sabotage. While research tells us that most of us think of ourselves as somewhat or very self-aware, the reality is that most of our self-assessments are systematically and substantively flawed. In other words, we believe we are better than we are.
We misjudge ourselves because we don’t know ourselves, often with unwelcome outcomes.
Being unaware of your abilities and faults when making informed decisions can lead you into hot water. Worse, you may waste your talents and skills simply because you didn’t know you had them.
The solution: tell your stories.
Psychologist and author Stephen Grosz believes that “we try to make sense of our lives by telling our stories”. We are natural storytellers and have a unique ability to self-reflect and self-assess.
Exploring your stories and asking “What”, “So what”, and “What next” are excellent ways to improve your self-awareness.
Stories and reflection are especially useful in dealing with painful experiences. Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen, the late Danish author of Seven Gothic Tales, Out of Africa and Babette’s Feast, who was known for her story-telling skills) believed that “all sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story.”
Use your stories and reflections to assess your strengths and weaknesses in relationships, communication, influence, persuasion and collaboration.
Write down your story.
Of course, the methodology of stories and reflection is more effective when you write it down.
The first drafts are often full of lies and confabulations, a form of self-protection. Developing a truthful and final draft can be painful but culminates in your honest self-awareness.
Getting others involved is helpful; even if you don’t want to tell your story to others, it’s worth finding out how others see you by asking trusted friends and colleagues why they value you.
Your Next Steps
Reflection time
- Why do most of us overestimate our self-awareness?
- What does your life story tell you about yourself?
- How accurate are the stories you tell others about yourself?
Join the conversation
Taking it further
Attributions and references
Photo attribution
Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash
Audio link
https://audio.com/jeremy_deedes/self-awareness/
Other attributions and references
- Vernon Linwood Howard. 1500 Ways to Escape the Human Jungle. 1 Aug. 1978.
- Eurich, Tasha. Insight: How to Succeed by Seeing Yourself Clearly. London, Pan Books, 2018.
- Grosz, Stephen. The Examined Life. London, Vintage Books, 2014.
- Karen Blixen: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8147.Karen_Blixen/
Related posts
https://wordsnotdeeds.co.uk/self-awareness-qualities/
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I work with ambitious, family-oriented professionals transitioning to independent consultants to create a 3 to 5-year holistic plan so that they grow wealthy, make a difference and find meaning.
My clients are aged 35-50. They are in a long-term relationship with family and parents who are supportive but ageing. They wrestle with personal and financial responsibilities and dream of more control, wealth, time and purpose.
If this excites you, you are coachable, willing to change, and want to stop going around in circles, then find out more at jeremydeedes.com
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