Self-awareness is essential to personal resilience for the same reasons, so it is disheartening to read that Eurich, in her research for her book, found that only 10-15 per cent of individuals are fully self-aware (although 95 per cent think they are).

Eurich differentiates between internal and external self-awareness. Many people I speak to have developed their internal self-awareness, at least in part. Values, passions, behaviour patterns and standard reactions to situations are reasonably well appreciated. 

Self-awareness is often deficient

However, articulating aspirations, environmental best fit and impact on others often proves difficult.

And this last, your impact on others, requires you to assess your self-awareness from the point of view of others. How do others see you? It usually’s very different from how you think others see you.

I spoke recently to a young music student taking her first steps in the world of opera. She told me of her outstanding achievements as a talented young soprano and her organisational abilities in arranging and performing at concerts and events in Africa and Europe. However, in her mind’s eye, she was amateurish, incompetent and self-effacing. Conversely, having listened to her life story, I saw a vibrant, energetic, talented and confident individual.

Self-awareness is as much about how others see you as you see yourself

So, you can be wrong about how others see you. If you want to find out – which I recommend – then start with this simple exercise, which will help you accentuate the positive aspects of your character.

The exercise will not leave you feeling vulnerable, afraid or ashamed (the usual reasons we do not ask others what they think of us). On the contrary, it should build your confidence, increase your self-awareness and challenge some of those limiting beliefs you have about yourself.

Check your external self-awareness

Select four to six people from different arenas of your life who you know well and trust. Ask each these five questions:

1. What one word describes me best?
2. What do you think is my greatest achievement?
3. What do you value most about me?
4. What one thing could I change for my benefit?
5. What do you think is my greatest strength?

Finally, answer the questions yourself and then reflect on the answers. In particular, look for differences between what your respondents told you and your answers.

Self-awareness is essential to your resilience; now the kids have left home, use this exercise to discover your impact on others and enhance your self-awareness.

Photo attribution

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Audio link

https://audio.com/jeremy_deedes/resilient-self-awareness/

Other attributions and references

Eurich, Tasha. Insight : How to Succeed by Seeing Yourself Clearly. London, Pan Books, 2018.

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